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If you know me (and you probably do), you know how much I enjoy the recent renaissance of Saturday Night Live. The Lonely Island’s “Digital Shorts” are a big reason for that; they are almost always hilariously profane, and are consistently among the best bits of each episode. And although I experienced last night’s short in less-than-ideal circumstances, its jaw-dropping ridiculousness and vulgarity once again makes it one of the highlights of my week.

Normally, when linking a Digital Short, I’d quote some lyrics — or give some backstory — to explain exactly what amuses me about the joke. But this video, the sequel to an inarguable classic, chronicles the world’s two most thoughtful gift-givers…this time, as they plan for Mother’s Day.

Is any further explanation really necessary?

Directly underneath this post, you will find a private post of no short length. My apologies for its long, meandering nature, but I’m afraid that couldn’t be helped.

For those of you who’d like to read it, but don’t yet have PLATINUM READER STATUS (bling bling, y’all), make an account and leave a comment requesting access. If’n I know you, and I don’t think your tender heart will be wounded, or your delicately sensibilities offended by what you see, I will almost certainly give you an upgrade. Bribery optional.

For everyone else, and those folks I know who are feeling a little down lately, I post as consolation the following video, “Crazy Loop (Mm-Ma-Ma)”, by Crazy Loop…also known as Dan Bălan, the mad, manic Moldovan behind “Dragostea Din Tei” (and consequently, the ubiquitous “Numa Numa Song” internet meme). I defy anyone to watch this video — really watch it — and remain depressed.

OK. I’m sorry to keep doing this, but these Lonely Island videos just make me laugh so goddamned much. Much like “Crazy Loop (Mm mm ma)”, The Lonely Island’s songs and videos are so patently ridiculous that it’s impossible to listen to or watch them without your day brightening at least a little. Well, for me, anyhow.

And really, is it so bad to laugh at a song in which a straight-faced T-Pain says, “I never thought I’d be on a boat / It’s a big, blue, watery road / Poseidon, look at me! / I never thought I’d see the day / Wit’ a big boat comin’ my way / Believe me when I say: / I fucked a mermaid!”?

(Answer: No.)

Gah. I hate this situation. I find myself with something it would really help to talk to someone about, but, well…as garrulous as I generally am, I tend to hold some of my metaphorical cards a little close to my chest. Stupid? Yes. Trite? Oh yeah. Predictable? Sure. Of my two closest friends, one I’ve never shared this sort of thing with, and the other is going through something so profoundly stressful and unpleasant that unloading on that person with this comparatively petty stuff would be kind of a failure on my part. I guess I’ve hoisted myself on my own petard, so to speak, by avoiding vulnerability through a refusal to share most truly personal things with even my very closest friends. Now, for the first time in months, I find myself with no one I am truly comfortable opening up to. Pleh.

OK, enough of that. Now enjoy this terrible SNL Digital Short with a disturbingly catchy song. I swear that I do not have a dance to go with this song. Nope, not at all.

This is probably the most charming thing I’ve seen all day. Is there an antithetical expression for “when it rains, it pours”?