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Most of you have probably heard — repeatedly — that I spent some time in bonny Scotland, back in the mid-90’s. I have many fond memories of my time there, and most involve my friend and immediate supervisor, Richie. Luckily, through the internet, Richie and I have managed to remain in touch for the dozen or so years since I departed that magical land of haggis, kilts, and bagpipes.

I often mention that, upon first arriving in Glasgow, I spent my first two weeks saying little other than, “Pardon?” The Glaswegian accent is notoriously impenetrable, and I was proud it took only two weeks of stumbling around in complete and utter confusion before I managed to develop a passable ear for it.

Although I may have developed an ear for the accent, it is clear that Google Voice’s wonderful — and often unintentionally hilarious — voicemail transcription service has not, as Richie’s recent message so beautifully illustrates. I would like to point out that it often transcribes messages flawlessly. As you will see below, however, sometimes it does not…

Google’s guess:

Called the. I’m on my way number consulate work. Hey man, or go to corporate overview certain chills buddy bye.